The official news website of Columbus East High School

CEHS News

Dear Delaney: Conflicted feelings, reputations and loneliness

Delaney Jackson, Editor of Content

I have been in a relationship for a while but am starting to have feelings for someone else. I still like my boyfriend and don’t want to be without him but I really am starting to like this other guy too. What do you think about having an open relationship? What should I do?

-At the crossroads

When you are in a relationship, you are committing completely to that person. That means devotion with your thoughts, eyes and actions which it doesn’t seem like is happening in your relationship right now. If you know that there are doubts and you are sure you want out, just get out. Open relationships allow both members to get used to a lack of devotion that negatively affects a future marriage, even if it isn’t to that person. So, in short, no open relationships.

What to do next is up to you! First and most importantly, be completely honest with your boyfriend. He deserves to know. Then, together, you two can decide the path to take. All I know is that honesty is crucial for a successful relationship and a breach in honesty opens the door to all kinds of deeper problems so take step one and tell him.

I am starting to like this girl who has a pretty bad reputation. She has dated 4 guys in the past 2 weeks but I really like her and want to try it out. I know I’m not supposed to judge a book by it’s cover but should I consider her reputation at all?

-Risk Taker

Reputations are very tricky - especially in high school. The sad truth is that most consistant reputations come from somewhere and are not just made up but at the same time, most are exaggerated. So my typical go to is “don’t believe it until you’ve seen it yourself.” In this case, you have seen this girl date four guys in two weeks which is a red flag so take that into consideration.

Also, if she has a consistent track record of being with several guys or hurting guys she has been with, you have to wonder if it is worth it to risk your heart. If you like her, get to know her for a while and try to understand where her reputation comes from then make a decision based on what is going to protect your heart.

Reputation is not something to toss aside but it is not something to put above the true personality either. Be sure to give her a chance to prove herself while still protecting yourself.

I am single but most of my friends are in relationships. I am pretty lonely and still want to hang with my friends but I’m afraid I’m annoying them. Should I just try and get a boyfriend or should I back off of my friends?

-Clingy BFF

Being single is an amazing opportunity to learn more about yourself and to understand who you are on your own before being tied to somebody else. Take this time to really appreciate some solidarity to get to know yourself. You do not need to try and get a boyfriend! Do not settle just because you feel like you should be in a relationship.

That said, if your friends want time to be alone with their significant other, you have to understand that. It can be really easy to accuse your friends in relationships of ignoring you but keep in mind that they are now trying to commit their time to a boyfriend/girlfriend as well as to you. So take a step back, put yourself in their shoes, and realize how great this time of singleness can be!

Questions? Submit them here (they are completely anonymous):

Hang on for a minute...we're trying to find some more stories you might like.


Email This Story






Leave a Comment

If you want a picture to show with your comment, go get a gravatar.




Navigate Right
Navigate Left
  • Dear Delaney: Conflicted feelings, reputations and loneliness

    Dear Delaney

    Dear Delaney: Back to School

  • Dear Delaney: Conflicted feelings, reputations and loneliness

    Dear Delaney

    Dear Delaney: Flirting

  • Dear Delaney: Conflicted feelings, reputations and loneliness

    Dear Delaney

    Dear Delaney: Distractions, confusing feelings and boundaries

  • Dear Delaney: Conflicted feelings, reputations and loneliness

    Dear Delaney

    Dear Delaney: Formal, dating pressure and paranoia

  • Dear Delaney: Conflicted feelings, reputations and loneliness

    Dear Delaney

    Dear Delaney: Secrets, losing feelings and cheating

  • Dear Delaney: Conflicted feelings, reputations and loneliness

    Students

    CEHS Spirt Week

  • Dear Delaney: Conflicted feelings, reputations and loneliness

    Students

    East senior wins Lilly Scholarship

  • Dear Delaney: Conflicted feelings, reputations and loneliness

    Opinion

    See ya!

  • Dear Delaney: Conflicted feelings, reputations and loneliness

    Sports

    Photo Gallery: East H2Olympians take on North

  • Dear Delaney: Conflicted feelings, reputations and loneliness

    Opinion

    I’m Just Sayin’: Family Members on the Holidays