Before you read the questions and answers below, let’s clear up what flirting actually is. Flirting is defined as “Purposely behaving in a way showing attraction to or trying to attract another. Flirting is for amusement rather than serious intentions and is intentional.” Please keep this in mind before accusing anybody of doing such.

My friend recently started dating a guy and she really likes him. The only problem with this situation is that I always see him flirting with other girls. Should I tell her about this or am I overreacting?
– Overprotective?

Assuming that you have read the definition above and the situation still applies, I would say tell her! It is very important to be honest with your friends if you are completely confident in a bad situation. But be very careful with how you go about this.

You have to remember that she is dating this guy and will probably be defensive of him which is totally understandable! Nobody wants to hear something bad about somebody they are invested in and it can be really hard to hear that they aren’t quite who you thought they were.

Be sure that you tell her about the situation in a “this is what I have seen” way rather than the “he is cheating on you” way. By simply being open about what you have observed, you are showing her that you aren’t angry or trying to force her to feel a certain way, but rather are sharing your experiences for her benefit.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a while now and there is a girl that constantly flirts with him. Even when he doesn't give her attention she continues to do this. I have already talked to her about how it makes me uncomfortable and she seemed very understanding, nothing changed after this though. I went to my friends to ask what to do, and the same girl is flirting with their boyfriends. What is the right thing to do without being mean?
– Concerned Girlfriend

Again, assuming you have read the flirting definition and it still applies...

In life, you will come across people who just do not understand how to respect other people. The girl you described seems to be one of those people and I think it is important to accept her for what she is, think through the things below, and move on.

To be honest, I find it hard to believe that she is constantly flirting with him if he is constantly shutting her down. Think about it, if you were flirting with somebody and they reject you, will you continue to do it and be vulnerable to more embarrassing rejection? Probably not. In other words, you may want to talk to your boyfriend about how he is reacting to her because he may be to blame as well. Even if he is not directly flirting back, his tolerance may give her the green light so have that conversation with him and tell him exactly how you feel about the situation.

I totally understand that it is annoying to watch her behave in a flirty way around your boyfriend but if he isn't playing into it, there is no need to get worked up about it. Understand that someday, acting like this will come back to bite her. Focus on your relationship and don’t let her bring you down!

Flirting Tips:
– RELAX. Before you go into any situation with somebody you are into, take a breath and relax.
– Put it in perspective. No flirty conversation will make or break your potential relationship with somebody; relationships are made through real, substance-filled conversations.
– Flirting is a fun way to get to know somebody and hint that you like them, but it is not the end-all-be-all of dating.
– Remember that flirting is not ‘one size fits all.’ The movies usually portray flirting as a giggly, bubbly experience where conversation flows effortlessly between two people who will live happily ever after. You may not be a ‘sunshine and rainbows’ person and that is perfectly okay; do not become one for flirting purposes. Flirt like you. Be sarcastic, be clumsy, be awkward, just be you because that’s who is going to enter any potential relationship.
– Don’t have a script. Let conversation flow naturally and don’t get caught up in goofy pick-up lines or preset questions, let everything happen in the moment.

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