Dear Delaney

What do I do if I like someone but they have completely different interests than me? For example, they make bad decisions (drugs, drinking, etc) but I'm not about that. I still like them though because they're super nice and we get along well. What should I do? Pursue the idea of a relationship or keep them as just a friend?

Who you choose to surround yourself with shapes who you become. My mom always says “if you play in the dirt with white gloves, you won’t turn the dirt white” and that is so true when it comes to dating. When you get romantically involved with somebody you can’t expect not to be influenced by them so make sure you’re okay with becoming more like them as you grow in your relationship.

If you have no problem with changing your lifestyle (which, by the way, I wouldn’t recommend) then go for it but don’t expect to change them. The expectation to change their values is not fair to you and it is not fair to them because you will both end up, most likely, disappointed. So to wrap this up, I would keep them as a pal until they have matured out of this phase of their life because the truth is, someone who is committed to partying probably isn’t interested in being committed to you.

I have been dating this guy for a few months and I think he's cheating on me but I don't have proof. Help!

‘Catching’ someone who is cheating on you is pretty tricky but I think you need to be looking at some deeper problems in the relationship if you are even questioning disloyalty. If you were confident in this guy and his commitment to you, you would not need to be concerned, right? So instead of looking for proof, look for the causes of these feelings. Maybe you need to reevaluate the health of your relationship and question if you should be in the relationship at all.

How close is ‘too close’ for me to be to my girlfriend’s family?

I honestly don’t think that this is in your control. If you get along really well with her family, then the closeness will come naturally and I don’t think you should fight that. It’s a good problem to have! But, that said, you never want your relationship to be pressured by the families. It can really be an issue if you start feeling like you can’t break up in fear of letting down your parents or theirs. So really, you need to let things happen naturally and remember that you are dating her for her, not her family.