Vibha’s Guide to Self-Validation


Self-validation: the feeling of having recognized, confirmed, or established one’s own worthiness or legitimacy. 

Human nature forces us, subconsciously, to cultivate our self-respect and worthiness based on the way others perceive us. It is not until much later that we look back and realize our lives were wasted relying on the thumbs up of approval from people in our ever-changing environments. 

I am about to tell you something you have probably heard before but you need to hear it:

No one’s approval is going to make you feel secure in yourself other than your own. 

Read that again. 

Social media engagement and strict beauty standards play a factor in how we view ourselves. Although years of subliminal messages about ideal physical appearance and personality traits are difficult to unlearn, it is vital to move forward as a self-sufficient society. 

So if you feel as though your individuality can only be appreciated by those around you, here are small (sometimes cheesy or cringy) things you can do to begin witnessing your beauty through your own eyes:

  1. Compliment yourself. When people say nice things to us, we result in one of two responses –  feeling happy and boosted in confidence or brushing them off thinking they are just being nice. With the second one, it is funny how easily we believe negative remarks over kind ones without noticing rude comments are just rude and often projected out of insecurity. Moral of the story, say nice things to yourself and over time you will believe them.
  2. Recognize your accomplishments. You do so much in a day, in a week, month, and a year. We tend to get flooded with the negatives and pick ourselves apart but there are so many small wins you have throughout your daily life that deserve love and praise. 
  3. Find confidence in what makes you unique! This one is much easier said than done and not a skill many master so easily. However, it is no secret that what sets you apart is genuinely a superpower, whether you love your unibrow or your style is so eccentric and special to you, or maybe you just really love your name because it is unlike anything anyone has heard before – take it and run. Individuality is a great thing if we make it. Ultimately, treat yourself like your best friend, because in a lot of ways you are.